Reclaiming Emotional and Sexual Intimacy During Fertility Treatments

The journey through fertility treatments has a deep impact physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and financially. For many couples, fertility challenges are the first major life/medical crisis they’ve encountered together and can shift the way they experience intimacy. Three common areas I observe that often arise include performance anxiety, balancing recreation with procreation, and re-building the mind/body connection.

🌱 Performance Anxiety: Unpacking Expectations

For couples navigating fertility challenges, sex can begin to feel like a “task” that’s focused solely on sex for procreation and results, often leading to performance anxiety and disappointment. This type of anxiety is a natural response to the pressure, and it’s essential to address it together.

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: Openly discussing your anxieties can be incredibly freeing. When one or both partners feel pressure, this can lead to feelings of frustration, disconnection, and even self-doubt. Talking about these feelings can lessen their impact.

• Reframe Your Thinking: Try shifting the focus from “success” or “failure,” to reframe the experience as time spent together. This takes the emphasis off the outcome and places it back on connection.

• Create a Calming Environment: Make an effort to prioritize comfort and calm. Setting aside moments for unwinding, whether through a relaxing evening, a short getaway, or simple rituals that you both enjoy, can help you let go of the pressure and be present in the moment. Sensate Focus is a fantastic tool for this!

💖 Recreation vs. Procreation: Finding the Balance

Fertility treatments can blur the line between intimacy for pleasure and intimacy with a purpose. Finding a way to balance these two forms of connection can help strengthen your relationship and renew your bond.

• Rediscover Fun and Spontaneity: Try setting aside “fertility-free” time for intimacy, where conception isn’t the goal. Rekindling the playful, fun side of your relationship can bring you closer and create much-needed moments of pleasure.

• Remember, You’re a Team: Fertility struggles can feel isolating, especially when sex becomes tied to a schedule or outcome. Remind each other that you’re both on the same team, working toward a shared goal, and take a moment to celebrate each other along the way.

• Introduce New Ways of Connection: Intimacy isn’t solely physical. Small gestures—like holding hands, making eye contact, actively listening, and prioritizing physical touch outside of scheduled times—can help you stay close. These “mini moments” of connection are invaluable!

💫 Building Emotional Connection: Staying Close Through Challenges

Fertility treatments can bring up a roller coaster of emotions, from hope and disappointment to confusion and grief. It’s important to practice connection. Emotional closeness can be a source of strength and comfort, especially during a journey that can feel so overwhelming.

• Share Your Inner World: It’s easy to keep feelings bottled up to protect each other, but sharing your fears, hopes, and disappointments can actually strengthen your relationship. Expressing vulnerability reminds you both that you’re not alone in this journey.

• Practice Empathy and Validation: Actively listening and validating each other’s different experiences can help ease the burden. Try saying, “I see why this would feel overwhelming,” or, “It’s okay to feel frustrated.” These small moments of empathy can make a big difference.

• Lean on Each Other and Look Ahead Together: Remind yourselves of the love that brought you to this journey and focus on that shared foundation. Reconnect by discussing your future dreams and hopes—not only about family, but about life beyond treatments.

🌸Remember, fertility journeys are as unique as each couple. Taking intentional steps to reconnect physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and financially, can alleviate some of the bumps and bruises along the way. Approach this time with patience and love for each other as this relationship is the foundation upon which your future family will be built.

Whether you're sending your baby off to college (they'll always be our baby, just sayin') for the first time or gearing up for another year of goodbyes after a summer full of memories, this moment is bittersweet. I’m sure your heart is full of pride, but it might also feel heavy with the weight of change and the fastest summer on record! I want you to know that you are not alone in this.

The other day, I found myself giggling during a spontaneous kitchen dance party we had while making dinner. We were offbeat and laughing so hard.....It was one of those perfectly imperfect moments. But then, as I was looking for a recipe, I found a note my daughter made in kindergarten tucked away in a recipe book. Seeing those tiny, wobbly letters and the little heart they drew beside my name brought the tears.

Take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel all the feels—excitement, worry, and even a touch of sadness. It’s all valid. You've raised an incredible human, and now it's their time to explore and grow.

But don't forget about you as a person. As your kiddos embark on this new adventure, carve out space to nurture your own dreams, reconnect with your passions, and celebrate the journey you've been on.

I'm here holding space for you as you navigate this season of change. Let's support each other through this transition, and remember: this is just another chapter in the beautiful story you’ve helped write!

#Collegeparents #newchapter #emptynest #proudmommoment #mamastrong  #holdingspace #emptynesters #grownandflown #college

Facing Father's Day while grieving the loss of your own father or during a fertility or pregnancy loss journey can be incredibly challenging. Especially when longing for a role that feels like a mountain climb and just out of reach. Here are some ways to acknowledge and embrace the emotional burden so you can walk through toward clarity and peace.

1. Find an Outlet for Your Thoughts and Emotions: It's crucial to have a safe space to express yourself. This might be through joining a fertility or loss support group, seeking individual or couples counseling, or talking to friends. Society has not traditionally supported men and emotions, but you deserve to process this journey in a supportive environment.

2. Change Your Environment: A change of scenery can work wonders. Consider planning a weekend getaway, trying a new restaurant, attending a sports event, hiking a new trail, or being a tourist in your own home town. Having something to look forward to can provide a healthy distraction.

3. Embrace Distractions: If thinking about your feelings is too overwhelming, it's okay to focus on other tasks for a moment. Many find it helpful to concentrate on the logistics of fertility treatments, such as organizing medications, making appointments, or managing finances. Everyone handles stress differently, and you will find a healthy process!

4. Build a Support Network: This journey can be so isolating. Identify trusted people in your life and make a list of friends, family, or a counselor you can reach out to when you need support. Ask your care team for recommendations on support groups and community resources. They can connect you with people who "get it" and can hold space with what you're going through.

5. Create a Coping Toolbox: This journey impacts you physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, socially, and financially! Making time after healthy distractions to develop a set of coping tools will help ground you. This could be physical projects that keep you moving and busy or a collection of stress-relief tools like a meditation app or a playlist of your favorite songs. You can tailor this toolbox to suit your needs and preferences. Resolve.org and Insight Timer are two of my favorite toolbox resources!

6. Remember Who You Are: Fertility challenges and loss can feel all-consuming, overshadowing other aspects of your life. Take time to reflect on who you were before this journey began. Look through old photos, write down activities you used to enjoy, and remind yourself that infertility is a part of your experience, not your entire identity!

June is a month of vibrant colors, lively parades, and heartfelt celebrations as communities around the globe come together to honor Pride Month. This month is a time to recognize and celebrate the LGBTQ+ community, reflect on the progress made in the fight for equality, and recommit ourselves to the ongoing pursuit of justice and inclusion. What does Pride Month truly represent?

History of Pride

Pride Month traces its roots to the Stonewall Riots of June 1969, a pivotal moment in LGBTQ+ history. The riots were a series of spontaneous demonstrations by members of the LGBTQ+ community against a police raid at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. This courageous stand against discrimination and injustice ignited the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement, leading to greater visibility and advocacy for the community.

Celebrating Identity and Diversity

One of the most beautiful aspects of Pride Month is its celebration of diversity. The LGBTQ+ community encompasses a rich tapestry of identities, each contributing to the vibrancy and strength of the whole. Whether you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or any other identity within the spectrum, Pride Month is a time to honor and celebrate each unique journey. From parades to community picnics, these events create a sense of belonging and acceptance, reminding us all that love is love, and everyone deserves to be celebrated for who they are.

Reflecting on Progress and Challenges

Pride Month is also a time for reflection. While significant strides have been made in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights, there is still much work to be done. Advocacy and education are crucial components of Pride Month. By raising awareness about LGBTQ+ challenges and how our heteronormative society impacts the community physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and financially, we can then foster greater understanding and empathy. This includes supporting policies that protect LGBTQ+ rights, challenging harmful stereotypes, and promoting inclusive education.

Allyship and Solidarity

Pride Month is not only for those who identify as LGBTQ+; it is also a time for allies to show their support. Being an ally means standing up against discrimination, amplifying LGBTQ+ voices, and creating safe spaces for everyone. Simple acts of kindness and allyship can make a huge impact, whether it's using someone's correct pronouns, supporting LGBTQ+ businesses, or participating in Pride events. Our local community resource to check out is https://lgbtqcapefear.org/

A Month of Love and Celebration

At its core, Pride Month is a celebration of love in all its forms. It's a reminder that everyone deserves to love and be loved without fear or shame. It's a time to honor the resilience and strength of the LGBTQ+ community while also remembering the trailblazers who fought for the rights enjoyed today. As we celebrate Pride Month, let's do so with open hearts and minds. Let's embrace the spirit of love, acceptance, and advocacy. Together, we can create a world where everyone is free to be their authentic selves, and where love and diversity are celebrated each day of the year.

Happy Pride Month!

Mental Health Awareness: A Journey of Self Care

The conversation around mental health as “health”, has gained significant momentum, and rightfully so! The brain is part of the body, right, 🙂which makes mental health as crucial as physical health. Why has mental health been long shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding? Lets break down those barriers and embrace a new era where mental well-being is prioritized, supported, and understood.

Understanding Mental Health

Mental health encompasses our physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, financial and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, influencing how we handle stress, relate to others, and make decisions. Mental health challenges can arise from a variety of factors, including genetics, life experiences, and biological changes.

The Importance of Mental Health Awareness

1. Reduces Stigma: One of the biggest obstacles to mental health care is the stigma attached to it. By raising awareness, we can change perceptions and encourage open conversations. This is powerful in helping folks feel more comfortable reaching out for help and supports a more compassionate society.

2. Encourages Early Intervention: Early recognition of mental health as part of overall health, can lead to more effective management and better outcomes. Awareness campaigns educate people about the signs and symptoms of mental health conditions, promoting timely intervention.

3. Promotes Inclusivity and Support: Mental health awareness fosters a culture of inclusivity where individuals feel supported and understood. It encourages communities to build strong support networks, creating environments where ALL can thrive.

4. Improves Access to Care: With increased awareness, there's a greater push for accessible mental health services. This includes improving the availability of mental health resources, such as counseling, therapy, and support groups.

How Can You Support Mental Health Awareness?

1. Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about different mental health conditions, their symptoms, and treatment options. Share this knowledge with friends, family, and colleagues to spread awareness.

2. Practice Empathy and Compassion: Approach conversations about mental health with empathy and compassion. Listen without judgment and offer your support to those who may be struggling.

3. Advocate for Change: Support policies and initiatives that aim to improve mental health services and reduce stigma. This could include advocating for mental health education in schools, better workplace mental health policies, and increased funding for mental health research and services.

4. Take Care of Your Mental Health: Prioritize your mental well-being by practicing self-care, boundaries, seeking professional help when needed, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. It’s a win-win!

Resources for Mental Health Support

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Provides resources, support groups, and education about mental health conditions.

• American Counseling Association: Provides links to inclusive counselors in your state. 

• Mental Health America (MHA): Offers information on mental health conditions, screening tools, and community resources.

• Crisis Text Line: Text "HELLO" to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis counseling via text.

• Therapist Directories: Websites like Psychology Today, Clinicians of Color Directory, and Therapy for Black Girls can help you find a therapist near you.

Mental Health Awareness is more than just a conversation—it's a movement. A movement towards a more compassionate and supportive world. By educating ourselves, advocating for change, and fostering compassion, we can make a significant impact on the mental well-being of individuals and communities. Let's continue to break the silence and embrace mental health as part of overall health with open hearts and curious minds. Together, we CAN contribute to a healthier, happier, and more inclusive society.