Facing Father's Day while grieving the loss of your own father or during a fertility or pregnancy loss journey can be incredibly challenging. Especially when longing for a role that feels like a mountain climb and just out of reach. Here are some ways to acknowledge and embrace the emotional burden so you can walk through toward clarity and peace.
Find an Outlet for Your Thoughts and Emotions: It's crucial to have a safe space to express yourself. This might be through joining a fertility or loss support group, seeking individual or couples counseling, or talking to friends. Society has not traditionally supported men and emotions, but you deserve to process this journey in a supportive environment.
Change Your Environment: A change of scenery can work wonders. Consider planning a weekend getaway, trying a new restaurant, attending a sports event, hiking a new trail, or being a tourist in your own home town. Having something to look forward to can provide a healthy distraction.
Embrace Distractions: If thinking about your feelings is too overwhelming, it's okay to focus on other tasks for a moment. Many find it helpful to concentrate on the logistics of fertility treatments, such as organizing medications, making appointments, or managing finances. Everyone handles stress differently, and you will find a healthy process!
Build a Support Network: This journey can be so isolating. Identify trusted people in your life and make a list of friends, family, or a counselor you can reach out to when you need support. Ask your care team for recommendations on support groups and community resources. They can connect you with people who "get it" and can hold space with what you're going through.
Create a Coping Toolbox: This journey impacts you physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, socially, and financially! Making time after healthy distractions to develop a set of coping tools will help ground you. This could be physical projects that keep you moving and busy or a collection of stress-relief tools like a meditation app or a playlist of your favorite songs. You can tailor this toolbox to suit your needs and preferences. Resolve.org and Insight Timer are two of my favorite toolbox resources!
Remember Who You Are: Fertility challenges and loss can feel all-consuming, overshadowing other aspects of your life. Take time to reflect on who you were before this journey began. Look through old photos, write down activities you used to enjoy, and remind yourself that infertility is a part of your experience, not your entire identity!